Travelling with friends can be an incredibly rewarding experience. Exploring new destinations, sharing adventures, and creating memories can strengthen your bond and provide countless stories to reminisce about. However, travelling with friends also comes with its own set of challenges. So many people have horror stories about travelling with a friend and how travel ended that friendship. Here are some tips to ensure your trip goes smoothly, from deciding if you’re travel-compatible to navigating friendships and quarrels.
Deciding If You Are Travel Compatible
Before you book your flights, it’s essential to determine if you and your friends have compatible travel styles. Consider the following factors:
- Pace of Travel: Some people enjoy a packed itinerary with non-stop sightseeing, while others prefer a more relaxed approach with plenty of downtime. Discuss your preferences and find a middle ground.
- Interests and Activities: Make sure your interests align. If one person loves museums and historical sites while another prefers outdoor adventures, you might need to plan a mix of activities or be okay with splitting up occasionally.
- Comfort Levels: Discuss your comfort levels regarding accommodation, dining, and transportation. A friend who prefers luxury hotels may not be happy in a budget hostel, and vice versa.
Open and honest communication is crucial. Before booking the first flight, discuss your expectations, preferences, and potential concerns. This conversation can prevent misunderstandings and ensure everyone is on the same page. The earlier you have these conversations, the smoother the trip will run. While it can be exciting to book the flights for a spontaneous trip with a friend immediately, once you start booking and paying for things, you have serious skin in the game. If you and your potential travel buddy start disagreeing on things after you’ve booked expensive flights, that’s where things will start to get messy and complicated.
Discuss Travel Plans
Collaboratively planning your trip can help ensure everyone’s interests and preferences are considered. Use tools like Google Docs or Trello to organize your plans and keep everyone informed. This can include:
- Itinerary: Outline your daily activities, including must-see attractions and free time for spontaneous adventures.
- Accommodation: Decide on the type of lodging that suits everyone’s preferences and budget. Booking a mix of hostels, hotels, or vacation rentals can offer variety and flexibility.
- Transportation: Discuss how you’ll get around. Will you rent a car, rely on public transportation, or ride-sharing apps?
Often, one person in a travel friendship will take on the planner role. While this can work well, discuss how much planning, booking and organising will be involved and who will take on this role in full (or whether you will split the organising). Even if one person takes on the travel organiser role, it’s super important to ensure the other person is at least somewhat involved or cognizant of what the trip will entail. This could look like sending a few options on activities or hostels to the non-organiser to let them have the final say on which one of the options you book. It could also look like sending a sample itinerary for them to review and suggest any changes.
Set a Budget
Money can be a significant source of tension when travelling with friends. Speaking about money, budget, and costs can often feel awkward, but it is quite possibly the most important conversation to have with a potential travel partner. Trust me, discuss your budget upfront to avoid any awkwardness later. Consider:
- Daily Expenses: Agree on a daily budget for meals, transport, accommodation, activities, and other expenses. This can help prevent overspending and ensure everyone is comfortable with the planned expenses.
- Similar Budgets. Having a budget similar to your travel partner’s is ideal. For example, if you come to the 3-month backpacking trip with $5k to cover everything, you have a similar amount to work with. Things become tricky when one person has much more than the other, so discussing what that will look like while travelling is important. Will one person shout more drinks/ cover the cost of more expensive activities for the person with the smaller budget? Will the person with the smaller budget miss out on more expensive activities?
- Splitting Costs: Decide how you’ll handle shared expenses. Apps like Splitwise can help track expenses and ensure everyone pays their fair share.
Navigating Friendships and Quarrels While Travelling
Everyone who books a trip with their friend thinks they’ll never fight because they’re such good friends. Most people who say this will find out that travelling is a whole other beast no matter how strong your friendship is. You never know the other person’s annoying habits until you’re with them 24/7 through sickness, missed flights and long travel days with a lack of sleep. Travel truly brings out both the best and the worst in people. But travel doesn’t have to ruin a perfectly good friendship. Prepare for the fact that travel will strain your relationship and that you may get into a few disagreements here and there. Here are my top tips for travelling with a friend (and preserving the friendship after travel!).
Maintain Flexibility
Travelling can be stressful, and even the best-laid plans can go awry. Maintain flexibility and be willing to adapt to changing circumstances. This might mean adjusting your itinerary, trying new things, or giving each other space when needed. Even if you have pre-booked that full-day tour of the nearby ancient ruins if your travel partner wants to chill at the beach and nurse their hangover, accept that you may have to go alone.
Respect Each Other’s Space
Spending 24/7 with friends can be intense, but often that happens when you travel together. Respecting each other’s need for personal space and alone time is essential. Encourage solo activities or quiet time, whether exploring a local market alone or relaxing with a book. Even the closest friends need some alone time. Plan for periods where everyone can do their own thing, whether exploring a museum solo, taking a nap, or going for a solo walk. This helps prevent burnout and keeps everyone refreshed.
Having an allotted “alone time” time frame every day (or as much as possible) is a great way to ensure everyone gets a break. Personally, I love a late afternoon break, usually between 4 and 6 before evening plans. During this time, you can nap, catch up on social media, chill in a hammock with a book, or call home. Afterwards, you shower, get ready for dinner, and reconvene.
Conflict Resolution
Conflicts are inevitable, but how you handle them makes all the difference. Address issues as they arise and avoid letting resentment build up. If your travel companion constantly makes you miss buses or be late for excursions, say something after the first few times. Don’t let the resentment simmer because eventually, it will come out, and next thing you know, you’re screaming at them drunk on a beach in the Philippines (true story from me, unfortunately!).
Communicate Openly
Keep the lines of communication open throughout your trip. Regular check-ins can help ensure everyone is happy and address issues before they escalate. Asking questions like “Are you happy with the pace of travel or do you want to spend longer in each destination?” or even “What do you feel like doing tomorrow?” will provide avenues for having open conversations about how each person is enjoying the trip.
Define Roles and Responsibilities
Assigning roles can help streamline tasks and prevent misunderstandings. For example, one person can be in charge of navigation, another can handle accommodations, and someone else can manage the budget. Clear roles ensure everyone contributes and feels involved. They also ensure that one person isn’t doing everything and not really getting to enjoy the trip themselves.
Have a Backup Plan
Things don’t always go as planned. Have a backup plan in case of unexpected changes, like bad weather, closures, or transportation issues. Flexibility and a positive attitude can turn potential setbacks into new adventures. Also, having a backup plan for what happens if travelling together doesn’t work out is super important. Would you feel comfortable splitting up and both travelling solo? Would one of you look at joining a last-minute multi-day group tour? If travelling together doesn’t work out, will you both fly home and never speak? While this may seem odd and awkward, it is important to discuss it from the get-go.
Alternative: Have you considered solo travel?
If travelling with friends isn’t feasible, solo travel offers a fantastic alternative. It allows you to follow your schedule, pursue your interests, and immerse yourself fully in the experience. While solo travel can be daunting, it’s also incredibly empowering.
Staying in Hostels
Hostels are ideal for solo travellers looking to meet new people. They often have communal spaces and organized activities that facilitate socializing. Some tips for making friends in hostels include:
- Participate in Hostel Activities: Many hostels organize tours, pub crawls, and communal dinners, which are great opportunities to meet fellow travellers.
- Hang Out in Common Areas: Spend time in the hostel’s common areas, such as lounges or kitchens, where you can easily converse with other guests.
- Be Open and Approachable: A friendly smile and a willingness to chat can go a long way in making new friends.
Looking for more tangible tips for making friends while solo travelling? Check out my full guide here.
Using Social Media and Travel Apps
Social media and travel apps can help you connect with other travellers. Platforms like Meetup, Couchsurfing, and Facebook groups offer various events and meetups where you can socialize and join group activities.
Joining Tours and Classes
Group tours and classes are excellent ways to meet people with similar interests. Whether it’s a cooking class, a walking tour, or an adventure excursion, these activities provide structured environments for interaction.
At the end of the day…
Travelling with friends can be an incredible experience but requires careful consideration and open communication. You can ensure a smooth and enjoyable trip by assessing travel compatibility, discussing plans and budgets upfront, and navigating friendships respectfully and flexibly. Alternatively, solo travel allows you to explore independently and make new friends. Whether you travel with friends or solo is totally up to you, make sure you carefully consider your decision and make the right decision for you (as opposed to making the easiest decision).
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